I looked anxiously toward my nemesis that has taunted me for several years. My stomach twisted into knots. I didn’t want to do it, and yet I did. The internal struggle was getting the best of me.
“God, why does everything have to be so difficult?” I moaned. I looked back toward the hill that refused to move. Every day as I leave my house it seems to taunt me. I wanted to climb it, but memories of the painful past left me to only stare at the hill. For twenty one years, I have lived in chronic pain and fatigue with the past two years being torturous. Memories of muscle spasms, tender skin, and exhaustion caused the familiar fear to resurface.
“I can’t do this, God. I know it’s just a small hill, but you know it’s like Mt. Everest to me.” Tears of embarrassment and shame gathered in the corner of my eyes.
God placed a comforting arm around my small shoulders and leaned in close. “I think you can.”
All the years of watching others enjoy themselves while I stood by saddened me. I wanted so much to overcome the mental doubts that were holding me back, but what about the physical issues? Turning to God, I expressed my turbulent thoughts. “But what if I’m in a lot of pain afterward? What if I don’t recover quickly?”
God paused as if in thought, then answered, “Well, you’re in pain even when you’re not doing an activity. So, what would be the difference?”
He had a point. I couldn’t argue with that. The end result was always the same whether I was sitting or walking. Still not convinced, I tried again. “What if I fail and don’t make it to the top?”
“Would that be so bad?” He asked. “As long as you don’t quit trying, someday you will succeed. Each time you try, your body will have to get stronger. Isn’t that what you want?”
I sighed. He made another valid point. I couldn’t come up with any other argument. I had to just face it. I was afraid. When I didn’t respond, God continued, “The question you should be asking is- what if you do succeed?”
“Well, I don’t know what will happen. I never thought of succeeding.” I was confused by the thought.
God gave a casual shrug. “I guess there’s only one way to find out. Take the first step and then another. You’ve got to try.”
Another point made. He was good. I stared at the hill that most people wouldn’t think twice about climbing. Either I could live in the belief that I couldn’t do it or I could try to discover the truth about myself and be set free. I only had to stop staring at the hill and take the first step.
Isn’t that faith? Stepping into the ‘what ifs’ and going for it? What “hills” are you facing in your life that you don’t believe you can climb? Share in the comments below and let’s encourage each other to take the step!